Book

[book] Brain Rules for Baby

Rating : ★★★★
Category : Parenting
Author : John Medina

Brain Rules for Baby (John Medina)

Brain Rules for Baby (John Medina)

Cannot remember what is the last book I read before this 🙂

But this book is quite eye-opener for a first-time parents. The writer tried to answer 5 basic questions that are always asked by every parents during his sessions :

  1. “What can my baby learn while she is still in my womb?”
  2. “What’s going to happen to my marriage after we bring our baby home?”
  3. “How do I get my kid into Harvard?”
  4. “How can I make sure my little one is going to be happy?”
  5. “How do I make my child good?”

And the writer hypothesize that ‘parenting is about brain development’. Brain development will have direct contribution to children becoming smart (Question 3), learning to be happy (Question 4), and becoming a good person (Question 5). Below are some pointers, but in the end, IMO, the key is simple : BE THERE with YOUR CHILDREN as much as you can.

On BECOMING SMART

  • What is the ingredients of human’s intelligence ? (1) Desire to explore, (2) Self-Control, (3) Creativity, (4) Communication (esp the nonverbal)
  • 50% of intelligence is genetic, the other 50% is environment.
  • What kind of environment parents need to provide? (1) breastfed, (2) talking to your baby a lot, (3) play with your baby, (4) praise the effort, not the result
  • Remember, brain job is not  learning, it is surviving.

On LEARNING to be HAPPY

  • The only thing that really matters in life are your relationship to other people.
  • And what is the key to have a good relationship? EMPATHY.
  • What parent should do : same as above : watch, listen, respond, plus show a good emotion to them.

On BECOMING GOOD PERSON

  • How good a person is measured by how willing he/she to make the right choices and to withstand pressure to make the wrong ones, even in the absence of reward/punishment.
  • What parent should do : (1) clear-consistent rule, (2) let your yes be yes and your no be no (*sigh)

 

IT’S NOT A RACE!!!

This is probably the wake-up call. To most parents, brain development is like competition, they see their kids more as merit badges than as people. This is called HYPER-PARENTING. And it’s inside us as parent.

Just remember when you put an excessive expectations of them : “THEY WILL PLEASE and FULFILL WHEN LITTLE, but WILL RESIST an d REBEL WHEN OLDER”

And to close this post I quote :  “never pursue their intellectual success at the expense of their happiness”.

 

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